Archive for the ‘inattention’ Category
So you’ve made a resolution, and this year you’re getting rid of clutter! You’re going to eliminate the clutter! ADHD kids crave order, even if they don’t act like it. If your home is in disarray, your children can’t focus. If you haven’t already, make it your New Year’s resolution to clear a path – and clear the clutter!
There are several great online products to help you de-clutter and organize your stuff. 
One of my favorite resources is Fly Lady. She’ll nag via email, and help you organize your life step by step – with no charge – including getting rid of clutter!
Another unique approach to decluttering is The Ultimate Guide to Getting Rid of Clutter for Adults with ADD. It promises to get rid of your clutter once and for all with a simple, three-step process!
If you’re looking for a more immediate solution, try
Clear Your Clutter, Clear Your Mind. Personal Organization Made Easy. It gets you on a fast track – blitzing you to organization.
I really like DeClutter Fast – Get Your Home In Order!. It’s a quick read, and offers an ‘off the beaten path’ approach to de-cluttering.
One more resource that bears mentioning is Finally Organized Finally Free. It’s a long manual, full of rich ideas that are best used by the non-ADHD individual. Look over to the right side of the page for two other fabulous resources: Finally Organized, Finally Free for the Office, and the best way to keep up with your paperwork: Get Organized Now!™ Easy Organizer.
So – what are you waiting for? Time’s a wasting. Start getting rid of clutter now!
PS Find out how to organize an ADHD child!
Last week in the newsletter, I mentioned that all of our kids had come home for the weekend – Ron with college homework in tow. While he was taking a break, I read him an article I wrote back when he was in the tenth grade. Read, it, multiply it by four, and you’ll understand why I’m able to write stuff like Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare and Focus Pocus!
“Did you wash jeans? My Algebra assignments were in my pocket.”
Sure enough, crumpled up in the trash was a freshly laundered yellow sticky note, with penciled assignments too faded to read. So he pored through the Algebra II text, hoping for clues. No luck. My suggestions to call a friend were rebuffed, but finally, he gave in.
He asked if I had Ryan’s number, then went leafing through the phonebook to find the number. He needed her dad’s name, which I supplied, but she wasn’t home. So he went through three more absentee friends. He even called his youth pastor for another friend’s number. Nothing. An hour had passed in vain.”Change subjects. Do something else.” His Physical Science assignment was on a piece of paper in his Geometry book, which he couldn’t find. I had seen it in the car, and sure enough, it was there, soaked through, lying in a puddle of water that had leaked from another brother’s water bottle. The assignment still wasn’t to be found.
An hour and a half are now lost.”Go clean your room. You can call your friends later tonight.” So he goes upstairs, only to be distracted by an errant yellow jacket. He comes back down, insisting he shouldn’t be upstairs cleaning. After I warn him that my sting is more lethal than that of any bee, he comes back to get a flyswatter, but wastes more minutes describing the insect to me.
After much banging about, the insect is dead. It’s not a yellow jacket, but a large hornet. He proudly shows the creature to me, then threatens his brothers with it. After talking to the bird (the one who can burp), he heads back upstairs to work. His room, to his credit, gets done.
He also doesn’t mention he has any homework besides the mystery assignments. Since I don’t know he has more to do, he somehow figures he doesn’t have to complete it until Sunday.
So, Sunday afternoon rolls around. I have a meeting at 2:30, so after church we go out to eat, then the rest of the family waits for me. Of course, the homework is left at home. After I remind him, and then insist, he calls his friends to get his assignments. His friends are still gone, but I’ll bet their homework was finished.
At home, he finally makes contact with one friend, who gives him the Algebra homework. He also discovers that at some point he has lost his Geometry sheet, which is makeup for work he should have completed last week, and work he could have done on Saturday.
So I pore through his bookbag, and discover Latin papers wadded up in the History notebook, which is also full of Geometry notes. I’m overwhelmed by the disorganization. I discover a sheet that lists Tuesday as the due date for his Geometry notebook check, although he insists his teacher says it is due Thursday. I also go through all the drawers in his room. While he finishes his Algebra, I sort all his papers into subjects. I haven’t helped him all year, so I feel like I can help him in this without being an enabler.
It is now 11:30 pm on Sunday night. His Algebra is finished, almost. He has lost …..Oh, my gosh. I couldn’t have timed this better. As I am typing the above paragraph, he walks in. “Hey mom, you know that Geometry worksheet?” He doesn’t mention that it’s the one I just spent two hours looking for. “The reason I couldn’t find it was that it wasn’t a worksheet. It was a problem in the book. Can you come help me with it?”
So what do you think? Should I boil him in oil or feed him to the sharks?
PS If this story sounds WAY too familiar – sort of like a nightmare – then you need to read Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare. It’s our story of how the madness ended – and we woke up!
Here are some of the helpful hints from Focus Pocus – 100 Ways to Help Your Child Pay Attention.
7. For multi-step tasks, have kids pair a task to a finger. If you want your son to pick up the bathroom, empty the trash, feed the dog, then sweep the front porch, have him ‘put’ one task on each of his fingers. Then have him count back to you – as he holds up the first finger, he says, “Pick up the bathroom.” On second finger, he should say, “Empty the trash.” This will help him remind himself, and ensure that he heard you in the first place.
13. Pick your fidgety child to be the ‘server’ at dinner. Give them the honored task of refilling drinks, grabbing the serving fork for the green beans, getting the ketchup from the medicine cabinet – er – refrigerator, mopping up spills, and serving dessert. This is a great time for your child to acquire some valuable life skills, too. Don’t forget to express your thanks.
32…..NOTE: The fight isn’t worth it. If you have to fight with your child to get dressed – dress them yourself. It takes 60 stressless seconds. (They’ll learn how to tie their shoes before college, and if not, they can wear flip flops!) We always fought over making beds. Consider using a sleeping bag instead of sheets – a trick still used by our two who have moved away. Or consider leaving their bed unmade – a trick our other two still do at home.
48. Ask for explanation. If you ask, “Do you understand?”, a child will almost always answer “Yes.” They may want to please you, they may think they understand, or they may just want to be done with homework, but they may not really grasp what they have learned. Instead of asking if you were understood, ask your child to explain the concept to you.
61. Take a picture of the assignment board. Most kids have cell phones, and many kids have camera phones. Get permission for kids to be able to take a picture of the assignment board. Or the teacher can take the picture and then email it, upload it a webpage, or even Tweet it to parents. This is a lot easier than trying to type in assignments on a teacher website.
73. Teach a child how to flow with a conversation. Your child abruptly changes the subject because she is not really listening to a dinner conversation. Stop her, and ask your daughter what was being said before she spoke. Chances are, she can tell you – she heard, but didn’t attend.
She must be taught to recognize that although she is talking, she isn’t participating in a conversation. Ask your daughter to make an appropriate following comment. Explain that it’s important to have a conversation – one person talks, then the other person answers, then another person until the subject is finished.
For example: Ron: Today at school, this kid threw up all over the floor in gym class.
Joe: I won the race in PE today.
Mom: Joe, what did Ron just say?
Joe: Ummm. (Looks to the ceiling to recall.) Some kid threw up in gym.
Mom: What’s the next sentence in that conversation?
Joe: Could you see what he ate for breakfast?
Welcome to my life!
PS Don’t miss the special offer of getting Focus Pocus with a bonus copy of Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare!
Children with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder all have one thing in common – the inability to sustain and focus attention. But every child – ADHD or not – occasionally has problems staying on task and avoiding distraction.
As parents and teachers – we try to conjure up ways to help them focus. As if they were magical spells, we say such things as, “Listen!” “Pay attention!” “Stop daydreaming!” “Think!” “FOCUS!”
But the spells rarely work. To complicate things, once we find a trick that works, the magic wears off, and the clock strikes twelve. As a result, we are constantly looking for new hints, new strategies, and new ways to charm kids through that next session of homework or that next hour of math.
I’ve been there over and over again with my boys, my students, some of my friends, and even myself. With all of our attempts at alchemy, we did find a few things that worked.
“Focus Pocus” lists one hundred of our very best hints on how to help kids pay attention. They’ll help parents, they’ll help teachers, and most of all, they’ll help our kids.
Of course, none of the hints are really magical. None of them will work all the time. But chances are you’ll find at least one that will help you with the challenge you’re facing today. Tomorrow I’ll post some of the hints from Focus Pocus – 100 Ways to Help Your Child Pay Attention . You can read them all by getting your guide today!
PS Don’t miss the special offer of getting Focus Pocus with a bonus copy of Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare!
The most inattentive of our inattentive boys once said that his attention was like an oscillating fan. Bright, artistic, forgetful, self-absorbed, creative, exasperating, determined, spacey…he could be the poster child for ADHD-I. His first year of school, he went to kindergarten without his backpack for days on end – and suffered the consequences. One day, we pulled out of the driveway before he realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
When he turned 18, however, he had matured so very much that it was almost sad. He began to carry on articulate conversations with us, his friends, and (the real shocker) other adults. He discussed his future. He began volunteering at church, playing basketball, and fixing things around the house. He got his first steady job, working at a local dry cleaners. It was a great work situation – the owners like hiring students and helping them succeed at their first job. But the best part is that our son displayed terrific employee skills. He was always there, on time, and was spoken highly of by the customers.
The pay was decent, too. In fact, our son saved enough to buy his first car – with cash. He actually bought said car before he got his license. You’ll have to guess why…but let’s just say the people at the DMV knew us quite well.
But turning 18 didn’t solve everything. On the first day of his Senior year of school, he drove to school for the very first time. He left one hour before school started, to beat the traffic. It was a very mature thing to do, trust me.
About five minutes after he left, he returned home.
What was wrong?
“I forgot my backpack.”
Some things never change.
Although I suppose we should give him credit for wearing a shirt.
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