Who Put the Ketchup in the Medicine Cabinet?

Archive for December, 2009

We’ve reached the point in our lives where our kids finally truly enjoy giving as well as receiving gifts. This year, we were relieved that this even applied to our son Joe. His ship had been on a training mission, and we weren’t sure when he would come home for Christmas.

But one night, just as we sat down to eat stuffed grape leaves, Joe walked in the door. “I would have been here earlier, but I had to go Christmas shopping.” He was beside himself with excitement. He had bought for everyone – including my parents. He took Ron aside and told him what he got his dad and me. Then he and Ash brought the present inside through the living room window so we wouldn’t see it. It wasn’t that big, but it was just so much more fun that way. Then they wrapped it. In paper Joe had the forethought to buy!

To some, little things like this aren’t a big deal. But to me, who despaired that this child would ever buy anyone a gift without being nagged – it’s a huge, wonderful step that shows that he is truly growing up.

So, what was in the gift? A large George Foreman grill and (more evidence of thought and foresight) oven cleaner to clean it with. And, so my others won’t feel slighted, I also got a copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, a Paula Deen utensil set, a very warm fleece blanket (Ron knows me well…), the game Apples to Apples, a MASSAGE (I’ve never had a professional massage!), and last, but not least – a box of Whitman’s sampler!

Made out like a bandit, yes I did. I’m liking this reversal of roles – maybe a little too much. Of course, I also have enjoyed looking at all the handmade ornaments that are on our tree from when the boys were little. I miss those sweet gifts – and those sweet little boys.

I know I’m not the only one who got great gifts from the kids. What did your kids get/make/do for you?

PS Happy New Year!

I like to cook, and judging by the numbers of people that eat at our house, I must not be too bad at it. But I’m not much of a baker. Our favorite brownie recipe (although it gets rave reviews) is the Food Lion with walnut mix. So when I was invited to be part of a virtual cookie exchange, I initially dismissed the idea.

But then I remembered all of my Facebook friends, and put out a request for help! And sure enough, I got a recipe that sounds absolutely delicious. So I’m in! I sort of feel like I’ve cheated just a bit and brought my next door neighbor’s cookies, but you’re probably better off!

In any event, you’ll enjoy this recipe I am sure, as well as all the other ones from the exchange. You get all the cookie recipes at the Virtual Cookie Exchange.

Amazing Apricot Cookies

Keep refrigerated after cooling. The cookies can also be frozen. They are also great with cherry, raspberry, or lemon filling.

Enjoy!

PS I’d love to be your Facebook Friend if I’m not already: www.facebook.com/kayla.fay. From cookies to ADHD to science projects, we have a lot of fun.

After the post about Ron and his college homework, you’re probably ready for some positive hints on homework…and thanks to Alana Morales – here they are: Three Tips For Managing Homework Headaches!

In my neck of the woods (or desert, as it is), we are gearing up for the second quarter of school. This semester, I have experienced teacher battles, homework nightmares and medication debacles. All in all, a pretty normal school year for an ADHD family, wouldn’t you say?

One of the things that I have found myself doing is reevaluating my homework processes and making changes based on the day, the subject and the kids. A large part of the homework battle with ADHD kiddos is getting the homework home and then back to school. Part of this is finding out if they even have homework. As frustrating as this is, it is an essential skill to work on, because without the homework, there can be no grades. Here are some strategies that you can employ to make sure the homework makes it home:

1. From School To Home. – Use some sort of daily agenda. Have your student write down their class agenda and homework daily and if they have trouble doing this, ask the teacher to check it and initial off on it every day before your student leaves school. If they are having additional trouble with this step, ask the teacher if you can show up and write down the assignments for a few days or once a week and continue this until your student gets on track. (Kayla’s note: Check out the PAC-kit for this!)

- Make a homework folder. Sometimes homework gets lost in what I like to refer to as “The Abyss.” You may also know it by it’s more common name – the backpack. If your student has some organizational issues, make them a homework folder. Then, ANY work that is to come home can be put in this folder. My recommendation is to make the folder as difficult as possible to lose – make it a bright color or even a character folder. And plan on having several backups for the inevitable time it gets lost, ripped or otherwise unusable.

- Pick a study buddy. This is a person in the class who is responsible and can be called on the phone if your student ever misses an assignment or has a question about an activity.

2. At Home. – Make sure you have a designated homework area with supplies. After battling over spelling words or math problems, the last thing you want to do is have a kid lose their motivation just because you lack the proper materials.

- Schedule breaks. It’s tough to stay on task after trying to stay on task all day. Set a timer and let your kiddo take a break eveyrtime it goes off, provided they are working effectively while it is ticking away.

- Offer incentives. Offer some incentive based on their homework performance. Give Nerds, Smarties, or Sweet Tarts for each math problem completed or spelling word written correctly. It really helps with the immediate gratification issue.

3. Getting the Homework Back To School. Yes, kids need to be responsible, but let’s face it, our little darlings need a little more support in these areas.

- Make sure when an assignment is done, it immediately goes into the homework folder. Not on the table. Not on top of the backpack. In the folder. Trust me on this one.

- Use the agenda. Ask the teacher to sign the agenda to show that the nightly homework was turned in. It may seem like a lot of checks and balances, but until ADHD kids can use these skills consistently, it’s a good idea to make it as difficult as possible for them to forget.

Using these tips may seem like a lot of work and they are. But, in the end, if your student is able to get better grades, be less frustrated and build more self confidence, isn’t that worth the extra work?

———-Alana Morales is the author of Domestically Challenged: A Working Mom’s Survival Guide to Becoming a Stay at Home Mom. You can learn more about her at www.AlanaMorales.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/alanamorales for mom and ADHD tips.

PS If you’ve not read Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare, you really owe it to yourself to grab a copy before your next homework nightmare begins!

Recently, our oldest came home from college for a weekend, homework in tow. I know the child is 23 years old, but I was happy that he was able to find the assignment (okay, so it was online, but still). I was even happier that he had the correct book.

Ron’s homework was to write a comprehensive summary of three chapters in one of his business textbooks. Talk about boring. He’s pretty interested in it, though. He explained enough to show me he had a good grasp of the subject, although for the life of me I can’t remember what it was.

We had a good discussion about how hard it is for him to write. It’s still hard for him to focus, and it’s still hard for him to get his thoughts on paper. Here are some of the highlights of our conversation:

Ron: “I’m having a hard time with this I can’t summarize it like I want.” Me: “Just go through the chapter and summarize the topic sentence of each paragraph.”

Ron: “How’s that going to prepare me for real life? I want it to be in my own words. I might have to write a business report one day.”

“You’ll have a secretary. And it will be in your own words. Don’t over complicate things! Just get it over with. DO it.”

Good grief. He wanted to rewrite the chapter. It was a summary – not a research paper. The purpose of a summary is to summarize!

I reminded him to go through the chapter and make an outline with all the headings. He had done that already. (Does this that he was listening to me when he was in high school?)

Ron: “Writing isn’t as easy for me as it is for you and Ash.” Me: “Walking into a room full of friends and being friends with everybody in five minutes isn’t as easy for me as it is for you.”

“I just can’t get it from my brain onto the paper. I can talk about this until I’m blue in the face, but when I try to put it on paper, I blank out.” At this point, we’ve moved from a discussion to a rant, and he’s procrastinating. “That’s called a screen, bud. 21st century. Look at it and type.”

Ron still is frustrated by his difficulties. He still procrastinates. He’s still disorganized, although not overwhelmingly so. Ron still won’t do things that really would help – like speak his thoughts into a recorder, then transcribe them. Ron still works best in short spurts. He’d set a goal, work madly until he met it, then stop and play a video game or get something to eat. Ron is learning, and enjoying the learning, but not the studying. But at the end of the day, Ron is succeeding!

During one of the his breaks, I read him the story I’d written about one nightmare of a weekend when he left one of his assignments in his jeans pocket – and I washed it. It’s an hysterical story, one that will sound way familiar to you. Read it on the blog at http://www.adhd-inattentive.com/114, and you’ll understand I can write things like Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare.

Anyhow, while I was reading I left out his name, and when I finished, Ron said, “Who was that?!”

You’ve come a long way, buddy.

PS If you’ve not read Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare, you really owe it to yourself to grab a copy before your next homework nightmare begins!