A while ago, Susan contacted me about a new children’s book she had written called, “Sophie, Pay Attention!”. It’s about a little girl who has trouble attending. Because she’s so scatterbrained, her family sometimes doesn’t pay attention to everything Sophie says, either.

It’s a great read for our kids. They’ll identify with how Sophie truly does want to pay attention, and how she feels when she’s misunderstood by those who love her. It also weaves in the story of another inattentive girl – the servant girl Rhoda who left Saint Peter standing at the door.

“Sophie, Pay Attention” is a Kindle book, and as of publication time it’s only $2.99. (For Amazon Prime members – it’s free!) I loved the book!

Grab your copy of “Sophie, Pay Attention” at Amazon.

It was spelling – an online hangman game that had to be completed and submitted via the school’s homework system. (At least there was no book to bring home – right?!)

Anyhow, the particular problem Colin was having was a game of hangman. There were twenty words, and students could only guess incorrectly a few times before being penalized.

So Colin had a sheet of words, and every time he got one correct, he was marking them off. Here was the dialogue before I offered a solution:

Mom: “How many letters does the word have?”
Colin: “Three”
Mom: “You’ve already guessed the vowel. So, find me a three lettered word that you haven’t marked out that has “I” as the vowel in the middle?
Colin: “Ummmmmmmm. PIT”
Mom: You’ve already USED that one!
Colin: “Ummmmmmmm. DOG”
Mom: Colin. An “I” in the middle.

After about six words, Colin and mom were very frustrated, I was having flashbacks to Joe and his mother. So I offered my solution. We took all the words, photocopied them using the ‘enlarge’ setting. I cut them into pieces. Then I showed Colin how to separate the words into two groups – three letter words and four letter words. We then sorted them further by vowel. Finally – because Colin had already completed several, we made a stack of words that had already been used.

The next word had four letters. Colin only had to look in one stack. He still guessed at the vowel, but as soon as he got it right, the answer was obvious. Then he moved that word to the ‘already guessed’ stack.

So basically we visually organized what Colin was seeing, then cut down on the clutter of the extra words he didn’t need to see. Making smaller ‘chunks’ of information reduced distraction. It’s sort of like the hint in “Focus Pocus” that says to only allow a child to see only a couple of math problems at a time.

You will notice that it took prep work on my part – something we warn you about in Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare. I had to spend about five minutes getting the word cards copied and ready. It probably shaved fifteen minutes off the homework time, so it was definitely time well spent.

Incidentally, Colin knew how to spell the words before he started the game. So his time wasn’t spent learning spelling, but learning how to organize.

Have you encountered a similar way to organize material to make it easier for your child to understand? Share it below!

Brock and Kayla

5. Finders Keepers, part 2. Traveling (or just going to school, color guard or whatever) teach your kids to do a head to toe assessment so that they won’t forget anything. This works most of the time, if they remember to take the backpack that has everything packed in it…

6. Packing list. Make a list and check it twice. Kayla’s list is so compulsively organized that she’s ashamed of it – and so old it has ‘Gameboy’ and ‘film’ on it. Let’s just say Kayla has helped me pack many times…There’s a great list to get you started at About.com . Perusing, a couple of things stood out: medicine, lip balm, zip lock bags and Sharpies, and sanitary products – whether you are expecting a ‘visit’ or not.

If you forget something – don’t panic. Pharmacies can usually transfer prescriptions, the hotel will give you a toothbrush, and if all else fails – there are WalMarts EVERYWHERE.

7. Eat right. It’s so tempting to stop at the fast food places, but your kids need better fare than that. Pack a lunch and snacks or simply stop at a supermarket and grab a meal. A loaf of bread, peanut butter, squeeze jelly, apples, a bag of carrots, a bag of pretzels and a 6 pack of juice is easy to grab and go. Tuna now comes in individual servings, too. Don’t forget plasticware, wipes/paper towels, and plates or bowls. And you’ll save money, too!

8. What are you afraid of? Open a dialog about what your child may be worried about. Wetting the bed? Getting lost? Aunt Gert’s bad breath? Cousin Essie’s tomcat? Not knowing what to say? Tell them about the times you were afraid traveling – or how you had a crisis and survived to tell the tale. Assure them that you’ll be there for anxious times – and maybe arrange a way for your child to silently signal “I’m uncomfortable. Help!”

9. Look up! As you travel, point out the things that your kids might miss while they aren’t paying attention. Joe seriously missed noticing the Saint Louis arch one day. Offer a reward for the ‘first one to notice…” a streetcar, a Biscuitville, a South of the Border sign, Bruco the caterpillar. And if you’re in a city, remind your kids – and yourself – to look up! You’ll see beautiful and interesting things on rooftops, signs, ceilings, and even in the sky.

10. We Need This Every Hour. If you have a long drive or flight, pack a small bag full of surprises that will be doled out at intervals. Ideas for this: A new dollar toy, a CD, a special snack, a photo album, a camera, a puzzle book, playdough, an easy craft, travel games, markers and books, string for cat’s cradle…

Picture courtesy of Flickr and that Crafty Girl

1. Timed Travel. Perhaps because their brains are all over the place, ADHD kids like the comfort of a routine. Traveling usually means they are off that routine and a little off balance. Set a loose schedule, and each day, take time to let your kids know what and who and when and where to expect – to help them feel more secure.

2. Getting Lost. If you’re a mom, you’ve probably felt the horror in the pit of your stomach when your little one has wandered off. ADHD kids can be more prone to daydreaming and wandering off – or even reaching for a strangers hand thinking it was a parent. Help your child – and you – to feel more settled by having a plan in case of getting lost.

A lost plan doesn’t have to be complicated. Take time to place cell phone numbers in her pocket or on a sticker on the back of his shirt. When Kayla and I used to do day trips with our combined families, we would dress them ALL in the color of the day. It was easier to keep up with 7 kids dressed in red that way. Have a meeting place set – customer service, the store greeter, checkout #3, the fountain with the swan in the middle. Have a plan for getting separated on public transportation.

3. All Alone in the Crowd. Even if you’re at your cousin Elbert’s house – the one with 12 kids – make some space in the schedule for your child to have quiet time. With younger children, the routine of a nap is terrific – even if they don’t nap. It could be time to rest and read in bed.

4. To Med or Not to Med. If your child takes meds – think about how this will work best for your vacation. A day at an amusement park – maybe no medicine is needed. If you’re touring a museum, you may want a little help with focus. You have a good idea what’s best for your child. A word to the wise: it’s probably best not to share this information to extended family members. Doing so may solicit their input and possible criticism.

5. Finders Keepers. Nothing can ruin a trip any more than losing something essential – or something loved. But keeping up with stuff can be as easy as 1,2,3. If your child has things to keep up with, teach them to name the things (or count) before they leave – to make sure they have everything. We still hear Kayla’s Ron say, “Keys, phone, wallet” before he leaves our house. It’s something that still works.

And just in case, use a Sharpie to label everything. For privacy, use your last name (even a maiden name) and cell phone number, and you’ll be surprised how often Good Samaritans will call if they find something.

More? What are your best traveling tips – for ADHD kids or not? Send them via email, on the Facebook page, or in the blog comments. Next week, we’ll share some more!

PS Lost stories? For me, it was the day our kindergartner decided she didn’t want to shop any more – and settled down for a nap hidden in the middle of a coat rack in a department store. She really could sleep anywhere – although not for long that day. And for Kayla, someone once asked her to recount a time that one of her kids got lost, and she replied, “Name a major city and I’ll give you a story.”

—————
Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/marcovdz/

1. Meet early and agree on the frequency of meetings. Don’t wait until a problem presents itself. Be proactive and set up an appointment early in the year or semester to give the proverbial word to the wise. Think ahead about where your child is now and where you hope he is in 6 months. What are realistic goals? How can those goals be achieved? How often should you two meet?

2. Note this. The reality is that everyone’s time is limited, and we all need to be good stewards of scheduled time. If you’re considerate and write down the points you want covered in the meeting, you’re a few steps ahead of everyone else. You won’t be kicking yourself later for forgetting something important, and your child’s teacher will probably notice and appreciate your concise approach.

3. Sharing works two ways. You know your child’s history, tendencies, strengths and weaknesses like no other. While it’s true that you’re your child’s best advocate, don’t forget to listen. Your child’s teacher has insight into your child’s abilities and habits among others within a small group or classroom setting. She or he also may have the advantage of experience with other students with similar needs. What sorts of strategies have been successful in that experience?

4. How to initiate a running conversation. Between meetings, life marches on, and changes are constant. Ask the teacher what kind of communication works best for him or her. Does she email regularly? Would a home and school communication notebook be useful to him? What about the PAC-kit – the planner, agenda, calendar that worked for our boys. During our children’s middle school years, email was a terrific way to communicate. If something huge at home is happening — whether it’s a new baby sister on the way or a piano recital or a volleyball tournament — give the teacher a head’s up. If you need to change medications or stop medication for a time, share that information with your teacher as well.

5. Accentuate the positive. it’s tempting to only speak up when there’s a problem. When something is working, by all means, let the teacher know. We all could use more good news in our lives. Even when there is a problem or concern, the circumstances can be presented without casting blame. The last thing you want to do is force a defensive position from the person whose support you seek.

6. Be consistently consistent. Children and teens with ADHD respond well to structure and consistency. When parents and teachers can employ similar methods at home and school, the child’s successful efforts can be rewarded when specific short-term and long-term goals are met. Think about the appropriate rewards for both types of successes that will motivate.

7. Call in reinforcements. If communication with your child’s teacher does not prove fruitful and your best efforts fail, it’s time to solicit help at the school’s office. During Lesley’s 7th grade year, a new speech therapist was hired at our school. She ended up being our very best advocate, and her intervention made a world of difference. If you feel like your child’s needs are not being addressed, take your questions to the next level. A guidance counselor or an assistant principal may be your best support.

Photo courtesy of Jeremey Brooks and Flickr

Kindle for ADHD Knowing about Joe’s success with a Kindle, we decided to try one with Mike. Mike loved it. And I got one too!

Here’s what we like:

1. Fast access. There’s no shopping at the bookstore, surfing online or browsing the library for Kindle books. You search for the book, and it’s downloaded immediately. The easy access can’t be beat.

2. Only one thing to lose. With the Kindle, all your books are in one place. There’s no “where in the Dickens is my copy of Dickens?” or “I left my copy of “Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World” at home.” There is only one thing to lose – and yes, our kids WILL lose it. But then the books are also available to be read on the computer or their phone. Kindle material is stored in the cloud and can be downloaded to almost any device.

3. Changing colors. Which leads to another feature – that as far as I can tell is not available on the Kindle itself. But, when you use Kindle for PC or Ipad, you can change the background color for your reading material – white print on black background or a sepia background. This is great for eye fatigue, for kids who see better with different color overlays, or just to change things up a bit. Heaven knows our kids need that!

4. Changing size. The font size can be easily changed on a Kindle, as well as line spacing, width of lines, and words per line. You have two fonts – serif and sans serif. There’s also an option to read horizontally. If your child has trouble with too many words on a page, this is a great way to limit the words showing at one time.

4. Read aloud option. Most Kindle books have a ‘read aloud’ option. The voice is mechanical, but it does allow a change of pace for a short period of time. I’ve used my read aloud while I was engrossed in a book but needed to fold a load of laundry.

5. Highlighting available. There’s a highlighter -and a place to take notes – built into the Kindle. The notes and highlights are saved and backed up in the cloud, so they won’t get lost. They sync across any device you use, too.

6. Built in dictionary! An electronic dictionary
is on my ‘must have’ list for kids with ADHD. On the Kindle, it’s built in. Just move the cursor to the word, and a short, easy to understand (and copy) definition appears.

7. LONG battery life. Really, it’s not forever, but I’ve only charged mine once in about two months. I don’t read it everyday, but I’ve read about ten books on it.

Is it perfect? No. Here’s why:

1. They break! Joe and Mike have broken theirs. Granted, a new one arrives quickly (there’s a guarantee), but it’s a pain. I’ve never broken mine. I think – I KNOW – the boys are just rough. I’m thinking about getting Mike a Kindle cover for Christmas, so if anyone has a recommendation, let me know. I’m not sure if the covers actually protect the Kindle, though. I guess some research is in order.

2. Your choice is black on white. Unlike on an Ipad or a PC, the Kindle only has black text on white.

3. Bulky notes. To me, the highlighting and notetaking are cumbersome. I don’t like the Kindle keyboard at all, and move the cursor takes too much time.

4. Canned reading. The read aloud not always available and it sounds mechanical and dull. There is no expression. This is NOT an ebook, but an impersonal computer reading words.

5. Lost cord. Because the battery doesn’t need charging often, I misplaced the cord the one time mine did need a charge. And come to think of it – where IS that cord now?!

6. Too easy. It’s really easy to opt for instant gratification and buy more Kindle than you intended. I’m a big fan of cheap used books, but when you finish reading a book in a series, Kindle gives you a ‘sample’ of the next one…and then asks you to buy it. I’ve fallen for the bait – once. Joe already warned me that he had to really discipline himself not to spend too much!

All in all, though, I’m sold on the Kindle for ADHD. We purchased the cheapest version for Mike and for me, the one without the 4G option and with the ads, which only show when the Kindle is off. It’s been a great alternative for him. He reads for school and for leisure.

Have you tried the Kindle or another reading device for your ADHD child – or for you? Has it helped? Tell us your successes – or your misadventures.

Both Lesley and Mike are having to read classic titles that make me think of Mark Twain’s definition: “A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.” We’ve taken two effective approaches to slogging through these books.

First on the list is reading aloud. One of Lesley’s assignments was Siddhartha by Hermann Hess, a book offering insight into the spiritual journey of a young Nepalese man. Easily picked up from the local library, we realized that reading it proved more difficult. So we settled on reading aloud to our favorite 15 year old.

It ended up being a nice part of our day, either in the early afternoon or evening, as we were settling down. I would stop along the way and ask her questions to see if she was “with me” and not zoning out. That activity kept us both engaged. We applied some of Siddhartha’s soul-searching questions to our own beliefs – how are we similar? How are we different?

Finding Zen and the Art of Archery was a bit more challenging in our neck of the woods, but we discovered it at a larger chain book store in a larger nearby town. We managed to successfully procrastinate reading this one for various reasons until we were trapped in a van on the way to Olivia’s university. My husband was the driving force (both literally and figuratively) for the Nike-inspired decision to just do it. Thanks to his insistence and gracious chauffeuring, I started to read aloud again.

We took breaks and talked about what we were reading between passages. My husband gave us great compare and contrast questions to keep us focused. We stopped for soft serve ice cream, and before we knew it, we had finished this fairly short little book – and enjoyed it.

Reading aloud also works for non-ADHD children. Last winter, Olivia was really sick with an upper respiratory bug of some sort. She also had required reading – Jane Eyre – and a lot of time to read. Since she didn’t feel like it and seemed to welcome the idea, I read parts of the book to her. It was a few weeks into her semester that she remarked to me how grateful she was for that time. She felt that Jane Eyre would have been difficult to read in spurts, and that she had a much better understanding of it due to our reading it through in a few relaxed consecutive sittings.

Of course, reading aloud to our kids isn’t always possible – and shouldn’t be something they rely on 100%. That brings us to Mike. We’ll talk about how he is meeting his reading list challenge in our next post…

Image credit courtesy of Photobucket and yyellowbird.

Congratulations, Ash! Congratulations, Olivia! May God’s blessings follow you wherever His path for you leads.

And congratulations, Brock! Only one more to go. And I’ll try not to gloat that I’m done.

Truth is, many of our children are like my friend, making them appear insensitive, stubborn, or even dense. One of my boys, in particular, has little capacity for feeling. We’ve tried to foster a bit of sensitivity in him in several ways. First of all, we often ask, “How do you suppose he is feeling?”. This highlights the fact that others do have feelings, and makes our child aware of how his actions or words might affect another. We also try to point out the distinction between opinion and fact. “Soft shell crab is gross!” is an opinion. There is no use arguing over that particular point; there is no right or wrong position.

Finally, as he’s gotten older, we’ve been really blunt (insensitive) in pointing out his insensitivities. We’ve tried to make him aware of his has shortcomings, hoping that by the time he gets married, he’ll be able to show some compassion to my future daughter in law!

Image courtesy of coba and flickr.

Last week, a mom posted a comment about the morning routine that gives an ingenious way to handle the multi-kid dilemma. She wakes up one child, gets him completely ready from start to finish, then wakes up the second.

On so many levels this is a wonderful solution. And yes, she probably has to wake up thirty minutes earlier. But the benefits are well worth it to her – and maybe to you as well.

Here are a couple of other morning routine hints:

• Prepare the night before. Breakfast, clothes, notes, lunch money, lunches, sports equipment, meds/vitamins. Get it all out and ready to launch.
• Dress your child if necessary. She already knows how to tie her shoes and button. Spend three minutes calmly working together to get him dressed instead of ten minutes screaming from the other room.
• Keep the television off.

What hints do you have to add?

Image courtesy of Joe Benjamin and Flickr.