Additionally, children who are in the youngest third of the class are 50% more likely to be prescribed stimulants to manage symptoms of ADHD between the ages of 7 and 14.

Let me be quick to say that we don’t wish to vilify the use of medications to help with ADHD. To quote Dr. Seuss:

Not one of them
Is like another.
Don’t ask us why.
Go ask your mother.

*Academic Redshirting: holding a child back from starting kindergarten to allow for a little more maturity; often used when a child will be one of the younger ones in the classroom.

Lesley never took these choices lightly. She pondered the benefits of pulp-free, calcium-fortified orange juice, and she finally concluded that sandwiches cut into triangles tasted better. As decisions became more complex, she thought harder and harder about pros and cons of each one.

Which book should she do her report on? What topic would be best for the upcoming research paper? Her decision-making process exhausted me. “What do you think?” she would ask.

“It’s entirely up to you, but let’s talk about it…”

It wasn’t until years later when I was chatting with Kayla that I came to realize that many children diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive have trouble making decisions.

An impulsive child doesn’t usually think about consequences – when he does, stopping to consider a logical sequence takes lots of time. If I do it this way, it means XYZ, but if I do it THAT way, it means ZYX. Then again I could…..etc., etc. Thoughts come fast and furious, and rather than organize or process those thoughts, the ADHD child may postpone the decision to another day. And then another….

Analysis paralysis. Getting stuck on reasoning without reaching a logical decision can be very common. A child who’s socially awkward may be afraid of making a mistake. What if everyone thinks I’m stupid for picking this activity? What if I offend someone by choosing the wrong thing?
Then what?

So how can you encourage your child to progress past analysis paralysis?

1. Pros and Cons. Every decision has positive and negatives. Ask your child to write them down and should the points be equally distributed, you may need to ask questions about which of the points mean more to your child.
2. Make it loud. For Kayla’s Joe, he processed out loud. He kept talking until the solution was obvious. He knew it when he heard it.
3. Give a deadline. Procrastination doesn’t help anyone, but it’s the ADHD child’s worst enemy. Teachers give deadlines, and that works well. Why not parents?
4. Give ownership. Allow your child to make the decision herself even if you don’t agree with it. It will affect him more than anyone else. Advise but don’t manipulate.
5. Brilliant conclusion. Whatever decision your child makes, accept it. Your confidence matters.

Decision-making is another life skill every adult depends on. While it may seem easier to make certain decisions yourself, that approach can handicap your child. Keep smiling, listening and encouraging. Before long, you’ll find that your reluctant decision maker will gain confidence and reach very logical conclusions more often than not.

At times when the next test, regular homework and upcoming project comes close to overwhelming, it’s easy to overlook passing on certain life skills. In hindsight, I can say we did some things better than others, so I hope what we suffered through or merely survived can help you figure out what works at your house.

While household chores teach children a variety of life skills, I didn’t require chores for most of the school year due to the mad dash to get homework done. (I made this decision sometime during middle school years.)

For summer breaks, I would insist on their help with varying results. Since I was usually the one in charge of meals, I asked them to plan and prepare a meal. When one child was in charge of cooking, the other two would be in charge of cleaning the kitchen.

Their meal choices often depended heavily on convenience foods, but I decided dinner was dinner, and asking for healthier choices could escalate into a battle I didn’t want.

Now that two out of three children live in apartments at university, they actually ask for culinary advice and instruction. Despite their early cooking experiments with hot dogs and boxed macaroni and cheese, they prefer food closer to its original form today.

In response to their questions, I put together a few “go-to” recipes for them that they genuinely seem to appreciate. You might want to try How to Cook Everything, which teaches the basics about food, utensils, cooking, and so forth.

Boy Scouts for our son, Edison provided some good lessons in responsibility. One example is when each small group of 4 or 5 boys would plan their menus for a camping weekend, shop for what was needed and once on the trail, prepare and eat the food. At age 13, Edison’s menu for the weekend looked something like this: dry cereal, a few pieces of fruit, sandwiches and Cup O’ Noodles.

In other words – they leaned toward easy to prepare entrees that weren’t so filling once they were outdoors. The leaders, on the other hand, prepared their knapsacks well with meats and vegetables.

One new helper (a mom) felt pity for the boys who had consumed more than half of their food before they had reached the second day of the weekend. “Couldn’t we cut these steaks and share?”

One of the veteran leaders objected. “This is how they learn to prepare better the next time.”

Don’t think the leaders were cruel. They provided simpler fare (Beans? Rice?) to make sure the boys didn’t collapse from hunger, but rescuing them with a steak dinner teaches that someone else will bail you out if you don’t plan. That’s a dangerous value to reinforce.

The same philosophy carried over for packing as well. They had been given a list – and they knew what to pack. Should they choose not to pack what was called for, they suffered the consequences.

Letting a kid fail in small ways like these is a good lesson. After the camp-out, they come home to a dry bed and a good meal. Their discomfort is temporary – but hopefully sticks in their memory the next time they’re making preparations.

Sometimes a young adult with ADHD inattentive tendencies may not think through to the consequences of their decisions. Talking about or coaching them through certain ones can help them enormously.

We’re going to talk about some more life skills in an upcoming post. What are some of the things that you think are important? Share them below, or on our Facebook page.

Eventually, we’d like to compile a list. Hey – maybe that should be on the list: how to make a list.

Photo Credit: luiginter via Compfight cc

For a couple of years now I had been asking myself..”How will I know it’s the right time to talk to my child about her “special” qualities?” I Googled it, asked other people, I read articles and blogs. They all had pretty much the same thing to say….”You’ll know when the time is right”. But, being new to this whole ADHD thing, I wasn’t really confident in myself to believe that. I underestimated myself, and everyone was right…You DO know when it’s time. My moment happened not too long ago.

My daughter came home from school and said someone told her she was weird and others had said she was strange. You see, when she was younger, the other kids never noticed that she was sometimes awkward or different, but as the other kids aged and my daughter got further mentally behind them, it came more noticeable to the other kids and they started picking up on it. I knew it was time to try and explain to her what makes her so unique and special. I scoured the Web for ideas on how, and then I came across the book Get your copy of The Survival Guide for Kids with ADD or ADHD here!. It seemed perfect for us.

It is such an easy read. They can read it alone or you can read it together, which is what my daughter and I do. It’s not to lengthy and has plenty of illustrations in it to keep their attention. It puts ADHD and ADD in “kid-friendly” terms so they can better understand what is going on with them. If any of you are ready to talk to your children about what makes them “unique”, this is a great way to do it! It really shows them that what they have is not a problem at all, just something that is “special” to them and gives strategies to cope, learn, and live with their unique personalities. Such a good read! Is it a “cure all”? Absolutely not. There are always going to be those good days and bad days, but even if you can pick just a few things out of this book together that you can try, it is so worth it! ~Amy~

That’s why I LOVED what one of our Facebook friends shared her “Good Grade Wall”.

Here’s what she said:

Since our daughter struggles so much in school due to her ADHD and multiple Learning Disabilites, we are always looking for ways to let her know that with extra work and putting the time in she can achieve EVERYTHING else the other kids in her class can. Sometimes a visual can help her see this better so we decided that we would make a “Good Grade Wall” in our kitchen, right across from where she does her homework where all her awesome papers will shine! Now, every time she gets frustrated or unfocused, those papers will stand as a reminder for her that she IS successful!

Don’t you just love it?!

What do you do to encourage your child? Share your thoughts below – or on our Facebook page!

1. Secure test accommodations. The College Board can grant your student special testing accommodations like extra time or more breaks, but you must apply for these, so it’s very important to plan ahead. Your child’s application should be received at least 7 weeks prior to the test date. Usually your child’s school should submit the documentation to SSD* online, but you must initiate it. There’s also a procedure for parents to go directly to the College Board. Keep in mind that neither 504 nor IEP modifications are automatically carried over for this standardized test. Click here for more information and applications.

2. Test often. Most students (ADHD or not) will take the SAT more than once to improve scores and combine their best scores from various dates. Our middle daughter took it so many times that test proctors started to recognize her and chat with her as she stood in the registration lines. With Lesley, we missed the first accommodation deadline, but she took the test anyway to give us a baseline without any accommodations. Practice never hurt anyone.

3. Take advantage of free resources. The most obvious one is what you’ll find on The College Board Website. Students can choose practice tests, practice questions or answer the Question of the Day to break down SAT preparation into bite-sized chunks. You can also get more in depth help for vocabulary. One of our favorite vocabulary websites is called Word Nerd. Turns the drudgery into fun!

4. Read that book. The College Board makers publishes an updated SAT prep guide every year to help students prepare for the test. You’ll find other resources for practice tests here. If you don’t want to spend for a brand new book, you could try looking on Amazon or at a used bookstore or charity shop to see if you could pick up last year’s edition.

5. Sign up for an on-line course. The College Board offers an official on-line course your student may be interested in. Or visit Jennifer Cohen of SAT Prep for ADHD.

A student diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive may often experience test anxiety, but test preparation can help her overcome certain fears. Remind him that an application to college is more than an SAT score. Read how one of our readers helped her child create a very strong resume and college application.

PS Speaking of Jennifer, she offers SAT classes, counseling, consulting and coaching, especially for the ADHD student. Visit her at SAT Prep for ADHD, and tell her we sent you!

The good news is that often, the wiggling and jiggling is an attempt to pay attention. The bad news is that the constant movement looks like distracting and annoying hyperactivity. Aside from starting gym class a little early, what can you do? Take a look at the following tried and true tips to help the ones you love who don’t love sitting:

1. Make a standing commitment. This idea worked very well for Kayla’s youngest son. When he had a task to do, he would stand at the table or desk to get things done. When he was sitting, he was distracted by all sorts of things, but standing up helped him focus on the task at hand. You may be interested in a standing desk. Or simply ask your favorite student to try standing up to work for a change; you may find it’s a simple idea that works.

2. Get on the ball. Three years ago, Robi Giuliano first encouraged her fourth grade students in West Chester, PA to take a seat on a yoga ball instead of a traditional desk chai. Guiliano never looked back: students who sit on inflatable bouncers can improve their focus while increasing their balance and core strength. “I have more attentive children, she said. “I’m able to get a lot done with them because they’re sitting on yoga balls.” Once they start sitting on a stability ball, they don’t usually want to go back to a stationary chair. The consequence of losing the privilege keeps students from “accidentally” rolling off the ball or engaging in other distracting horseplay. Sounds like a win-win situation to us! Get your balance chair for your ADHD child here.

3. Sit pretty anywhere. What if your fitness ball doesn’t reach your desk? Maybe your ball isn’t that tall. Or maybe you’d rather try a Fitball Seating Disk. Here’s a product that helps a student keep good posture and improve core strength, and it’s smaller and easier to move around. They can be used inconspicuously in a classroom, and are often part of an IEP or 504. Take a look at the seating discs here. Note that there are different shapes and sizes, and some come with sensory textures.

4. Change it up! My daughter’s choir teacher executes this idea brilliantly. She throws in an exercise when certain students’ attention started to wane. She might give them permission to stand up and stretch, or to turn around and speak 10 words to one person. An elementary school teacher might encourage kids to “shake their sillies out.” Sometimes a simple exercise can change things up enough to help a student regain focus.

5. Give a second choice. For some children, simply offering a different place to sit helps them focus again. Maybe one area is where a child listens better and another area is where she works better. Viva la difference!

How about you? Are you still sitting in the same place? Test some of these ideas for yourself and see if your focus is a little sharper. In the comments below, share your hear your own tried and true tips for jumpstarting your favorite student’s focus.

The article was discussing how to get ADHD children to get on the band wagon and complete their chores and homework. There was not ONE concrete solution offered. Instead, there was what I will call “drivel”.

I’m paraphrasing, lest you take it upon yourself to Google…”Sit your children down and talk about the situation. Tell them that when they finish their work quickly and efficiently, the family will be happier and can spend more time together.”

Doesn’t that sound like it would work at your house? I had to double check to see if the advice was really given for ADHD children. To me, this advice is like talking to a kid who is nearsighted about how wonderful it would be if she could see clearly. She needs GLASSES!

And our ADHD kids need strategies! So, instead of ranting further (can you tell this really got under my skin?!), here are several strategies that may help your kids to get their work finished on time.

1. Timers. If you haven’t found the timer that works, keep trying. You may need several different types for different situations – or to keep things interesting. Brock mentioned a timer the other day that has proven to be very popular with readers. But don’t forget that your cellphone, your microwave, and even your computer have timers.

2. Consequences. My kids had a certain amount of time to clean up their toys, and at the end of the time, I got rid of the rest.

3. Cooperation. With chores and homework, get in there with your kids. You pay bills while he does math. You fold clothes in the room they are cleaning. Divide up cleaning the kitchen. Read out loud to each other.

4. Minimizing distractions. Turn off the television. And the radio, computer, cell phone. Put the cat in the other room.

5. Lower your expectations. Don’t expect perfection. I’m not saying let your kids do their work halfway. But if your kids fold your towels differently than you, it’s really not a big deal. If your son wants to read Henry Huggins instead of Treasure Island, that’s okay. Make sure your standards are worth it. Read more.

Maybe I’m too practical, or maybe my boys are, but simply talking about the situation rarely helped at our house. I’m not saying that discussion isn’t important. But that’s just the beginning. Sort of like faith without works is dead. It’s like talking about dieting without actually changing the way you eat. Or having a broken washing machine and and simply reading the repair manual. Or…

I’m ranting again.

What’s the most practical hint you’ve learned with your ADHD child? And have you ever had a situation when a frank discussion led to a change in behavior? Tell us about it below!

But sometimes Wikipedia is a bit over my head. (Should I admit that?!)

Well, for kids (or adults) who need simplified English, here’s a hint from Joe.
Navigate to the article you want to explore. Look over in the left sidebar, and you’ll see “Languages”. Many of the topics have an option for “Simple English”! It’s very helpful.

Joe works on computer networks on a large Navy ship. He is often asked to explain things to individuals who don’t understand geek speak. He uses Wikipedia to help him formulate an explanation that is more easily understood.

He gave me a fast example and looked up “computer network”.

“A computer network, or simply a network, is a collection of computers and other hardware interconnected by communication channels that allow sharing of resources and information.[1] Where at least one process in one device is able to send/receive data to/from at least one process residing in a remote device, then the two devices are said to be in a network. A network is a group of devices connected to each other. Networks may be classified into a wide variety of characteristics: the medium used to transport the data, communications protocol used, scale, topology, benefit, and organizational scope….”

Click on the “Simple English” link, and you get this:

“A computer network is a group of computers connected to each other electronically. This means that the computers can “talk” to each other and that every computer in the network can send information to the others. Usually, this means that the speed of the connection is fast – faster than a normal connection to the Internet…”

LOTS easier to understand – don’t you agree?

Thanks, son. I learned a couple of things today.

As an aside, he told me he also draws diagrams. Sounds like a graphic organizer to me – yes?!

What hint have you learned from your ADHD child?

The Gift in You. I love this book. I can’t stop talking about it – so much of what this author says strikes a chord in me. No intelligence test can truly test your giftedness or your intelligence level.

You are one-of-a-kind: no one else processes information, approaches a problem or thinks exactly like you. You are gifted like no one else! While this is written to help you discover your gift, it will also help you understand the ones you love who have very different gifts.

Dr. Carolyn Leaf has researched the science of thought since 1985, and what she’s found will fascinate you. Here’s an excerpt:

One teacher feeling the strain of his situation said, “Dr. Leaf, you’ve got it all wrong. There’s a child in my class who’s so stupid there’s no way he has a gift.” Well, for once in my life, I was dumbstruck.

Each person can do something no one else can do. There’s something each child can do that no one else can do…..Find it in yourself. Find it in your children. Find it in your spouse. Find it in your colleagues at work. Find it, because in it you will also find the truth of God’s living promises.
You were not built to struggle. Your brain is wired to function according to a specific sequence. When you discover that sequence, that structure, you unlock great potential.

I know that ADHD is a gift and a blessing; yet it doesn’t always feel that way. As Winston Churchill once quipped, “If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised.” I recognize that my ADHD child is uniquely gifted. She’s gifted musically, socially, artistically. She can bake and shop and travel halfway around the world all by herself. She’s God’s gift to me.

Oops – I got distracted from the book post and started bragging on my child.

Anyway…check out “The Gift in You“. I’ve got to go hug a kid who has a gift in her!