Who Put the Ketchup in the Medicine Cabinet?

So you’ve made a resolution, and this year you’re getting rid of clutter! You’re going to eliminate the clutter! ADHD kids crave order, even if they don’t act like it. If your home is in disarray, your children can’t focus. If you haven’t already, make it your New Year’s resolution to clear a path – and clear the clutter!

There are several great online products to help you de-clutter and organize your stuff.

One of my favorite resources is Fly Lady. She’ll nag via email, and help you organize your life step by step – with no charge – including getting rid of clutter!

Another unique approach to decluttering is The Ultimate Guide to Getting Rid of Clutter for Adults with ADD. It promises to get rid of your clutter once and for all with a simple, three-step process!

If you’re looking for a more immediate solution, try
Clear Your Clutter, Clear Your Mind. Personal Organization Made Easy. It gets you on a fast track – blitzing you to organization.

I really like DeClutter Fast – Get Your Home In Order!. It’s a quick read, and offers an ‘off the beaten path’ approach to de-cluttering.

One more resource that bears mentioning is Finally Organized Finally Free. It’s a long manual, full of rich ideas that are best used by the non-ADHD individual. Look over to the right side of the page for two other fabulous resources: Finally Organized, Finally Free for the Office, and the best way to keep up with your paperwork: Get Organized Now!™ Easy Organizer.

So – what are you waiting for? Time’s a wasting. Start getting rid of clutter now!

PS Find out how to organize an ADHD child!

When Ron was in his second year of college, he signed up for his first 8:00 class. This was a huge deal for him, as he has always been a chronic oversleeper. Lots of ADHD kids are. Nevertheless, I quit waking him up while he was in high school; when he oversleeps, it’s his problem. (He has walked the four miles to school.)

At the beginning of college, Ron simply scheduled later classes. But one semester a class he really wanted to take was only offered at 8:00. So he signed up. To make sure he wakes up, he has set THREE alarm clocks and his cell phone. He also has asked my husband to check on him and see if he’s up. (Wonder why he didn’t ask me?!)

One of Ron’s alarm clocks was EXTRA LOUD, as is the clock pictured at the right. These loud alarms make great clocks for ADHD, and may go a long way toward helping your ADHD child become responsible for getting up on his or her own. Get you a clock for ADHD here.

PS For during the day, check out our page of ADHD timers.

The New Year has always been a time to reflect on the past, and look forward to the future. The name “January” actually comes from the name of the Roman god Janus, who has two faces for standing at the threshold and looking backwards and forwards in time.

Take a minute and look back on your year with your kids. Start with the accomplishments they have made – big and small. Think about:

Academics (made it to regionals on her science project)
Organization (kept up with his bookbag the entire year)
Personal responsibility (remembered to feed the dog without being nagged too often)
Interpersonal relationships (often overheard him complimenting his little brother)
Physical changes (lost three teeth)
Spiritual growth (saw faith in action when she was kind when it was really hard)
Attitude (it really is a decision…)

Now look forward, and let your child go through the list and set some goals for the next year. Keep these things in mind:

Make sure the goals are realistic. If your child isn’t innately organized, steer him away from promising to keep his bookbag pristinely neat. Instead, purpose to clean out the bookbag each Sunday night.

State the goals as encouragement – and not criticisms couched as goals. Just imagine your sister-in-law telling you, “Why don’t you set a goal to keep a cleaner car?”

Let the goals come from your child’s desire for self improvement, and not the other way around. You’ve heard it said many times that you can’t change to please others, but only for yourself. Your child is the same. Be sensitive to the areas in which she would like to grow, and help her set her sights on these things.

While the goals don’t have to be measurable, determine how you’ll know the goal has been met. If your child’s goal is improving in spelling, you can measure it by grades. If, however, the resolution is to improve her attitude about chores, decide on a way that you’ll know she’s making progress.

Write down the goal. Put it on the calendar, in a notebook, or save it on your computer. You’ll want to come back next year and measure your child’s growth and progress.

Make the goal your own. Help your child meet their goals. Don’t (okay – TRY not to) nag, and don’t do it for them. But guide your child toward success. Because success breeds success. And may next January see you both looking back on progress and forward to even more growth!

PS After you finish with your child’s goals, set some for yourself. Do you want to be more organized? Lose weight? Get out of debt? Have more patience? Read the Bible through? Floss every day? Set your goals, act as a model for your kids – and have a Happy New Year!

We’ve reached the point in our lives where our kids finally truly enjoy giving as well as receiving gifts. This year, we were relieved that this even applied to our son Joe. His ship had been on a training mission, and we weren’t sure when he would come home for Christmas.

But one night, just as we sat down to eat stuffed grape leaves, Joe walked in the door. “I would have been here earlier, but I had to go Christmas shopping.” He was beside himself with excitement. He had bought for everyone – including my parents. He took Ron aside and told him what he got his dad and me. Then he and Ash brought the present inside through the living room window so we wouldn’t see it. It wasn’t that big, but it was just so much more fun that way. Then they wrapped it. In paper Joe had the forethought to buy!

To some, little things like this aren’t a big deal. But to me, who despaired that this child would ever buy anyone a gift without being nagged – it’s a huge, wonderful step that shows that he is truly growing up.

So, what was in the gift? A large George Foreman grill and (more evidence of thought and foresight) oven cleaner to clean it with. And, so my others won’t feel slighted, I also got a copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, a Paula Deen utensil set, a very warm fleece blanket (Ron knows me well…), the game Apples to Apples, a MASSAGE (I’ve never had a professional massage!), and last, but not least – a box of Whitman’s sampler!

Made out like a bandit, yes I did. I’m liking this reversal of roles – maybe a little too much. Of course, I also have enjoyed looking at all the handmade ornaments that are on our tree from when the boys were little. I miss those sweet gifts – and those sweet little boys.

I know I’m not the only one who got great gifts from the kids. What did your kids get/make/do for you?

PS Happy New Year!

I like to cook, and judging by the numbers of people that eat at our house, I must not be too bad at it. But I’m not much of a baker. Our favorite brownie recipe (although it gets rave reviews) is the Food Lion with walnut mix. So when I was invited to be part of a virtual cookie exchange, I initially dismissed the idea.

But then I remembered all of my Facebook friends, and put out a request for help! And sure enough, I got a recipe that sounds absolutely delicious. So I’m in! I sort of feel like I’ve cheated just a bit and brought my next door neighbor’s cookies, but you’re probably better off!

In any event, you’ll enjoy this recipe I am sure, as well as all the other ones from the exchange. You get all the cookie recipes at the Virtual Cookie Exchange.

Amazing Apricot Cookies

Keep refrigerated after cooling. The cookies can also be frozen. They are also great with cherry, raspberry, or lemon filling.

Enjoy!

PS I’d love to be your Facebook Friend if I’m not already: www.facebook.com/kayla.fay. From cookies to ADHD to science projects, we have a lot of fun.

After the post about Ron and his college homework, you’re probably ready for some positive hints on homework…and thanks to Alana Morales – here they are: Three Tips For Managing Homework Headaches!

In my neck of the woods (or desert, as it is), we are gearing up for the second quarter of school. This semester, I have experienced teacher battles, homework nightmares and medication debacles. All in all, a pretty normal school year for an ADHD family, wouldn’t you say?

One of the things that I have found myself doing is reevaluating my homework processes and making changes based on the day, the subject and the kids. A large part of the homework battle with ADHD kiddos is getting the homework home and then back to school. Part of this is finding out if they even have homework. As frustrating as this is, it is an essential skill to work on, because without the homework, there can be no grades. Here are some strategies that you can employ to make sure the homework makes it home:

1. From School To Home. – Use some sort of daily agenda. Have your student write down their class agenda and homework daily and if they have trouble doing this, ask the teacher to check it and initial off on it every day before your student leaves school. If they are having additional trouble with this step, ask the teacher if you can show up and write down the assignments for a few days or once a week and continue this until your student gets on track. (Kayla’s note: Check out the PAC-kit for this!)

- Make a homework folder. Sometimes homework gets lost in what I like to refer to as “The Abyss.” You may also know it by it’s more common name – the backpack. If your student has some organizational issues, make them a homework folder. Then, ANY work that is to come home can be put in this folder. My recommendation is to make the folder as difficult as possible to lose – make it a bright color or even a character folder. And plan on having several backups for the inevitable time it gets lost, ripped or otherwise unusable.

- Pick a study buddy. This is a person in the class who is responsible and can be called on the phone if your student ever misses an assignment or has a question about an activity.

2. At Home. – Make sure you have a designated homework area with supplies. After battling over spelling words or math problems, the last thing you want to do is have a kid lose their motivation just because you lack the proper materials.

- Schedule breaks. It’s tough to stay on task after trying to stay on task all day. Set a timer and let your kiddo take a break eveyrtime it goes off, provided they are working effectively while it is ticking away.

- Offer incentives. Offer some incentive based on their homework performance. Give Nerds, Smarties, or Sweet Tarts for each math problem completed or spelling word written correctly. It really helps with the immediate gratification issue.

3. Getting the Homework Back To School. Yes, kids need to be responsible, but let’s face it, our little darlings need a little more support in these areas.

- Make sure when an assignment is done, it immediately goes into the homework folder. Not on the table. Not on top of the backpack. In the folder. Trust me on this one.

- Use the agenda. Ask the teacher to sign the agenda to show that the nightly homework was turned in. It may seem like a lot of checks and balances, but until ADHD kids can use these skills consistently, it’s a good idea to make it as difficult as possible for them to forget.

Using these tips may seem like a lot of work and they are. But, in the end, if your student is able to get better grades, be less frustrated and build more self confidence, isn’t that worth the extra work?

———-Alana Morales is the author of Domestically Challenged: A Working Mom’s Survival Guide to Becoming a Stay at Home Mom. You can learn more about her at www.AlanaMorales.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/alanamorales for mom and ADHD tips.

PS If you’ve not read Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare, you really owe it to yourself to grab a copy before your next homework nightmare begins!

Recently, our oldest came home from college for a weekend, homework in tow. I know the child is 23 years old, but I was happy that he was able to find the assignment (okay, so it was online, but still). I was even happier that he had the correct book.

Ron’s homework was to write a comprehensive summary of three chapters in one of his business textbooks. Talk about boring. He’s pretty interested in it, though. He explained enough to show me he had a good grasp of the subject, although for the life of me I can’t remember what it was.

We had a good discussion about how hard it is for him to write. It’s still hard for him to focus, and it’s still hard for him to get his thoughts on paper. Here are some of the highlights of our conversation:

Ron: “I’m having a hard time with this I can’t summarize it like I want.” Me: “Just go through the chapter and summarize the topic sentence of each paragraph.”

Ron: “How’s that going to prepare me for real life? I want it to be in my own words. I might have to write a business report one day.”

“You’ll have a secretary. And it will be in your own words. Don’t over complicate things! Just get it over with. DO it.”

Good grief. He wanted to rewrite the chapter. It was a summary – not a research paper. The purpose of a summary is to summarize!

I reminded him to go through the chapter and make an outline with all the headings. He had done that already. (Does this that he was listening to me when he was in high school?)

Ron: “Writing isn’t as easy for me as it is for you and Ash.” Me: “Walking into a room full of friends and being friends with everybody in five minutes isn’t as easy for me as it is for you.”

“I just can’t get it from my brain onto the paper. I can talk about this until I’m blue in the face, but when I try to put it on paper, I blank out.” At this point, we’ve moved from a discussion to a rant, and he’s procrastinating. “That’s called a screen, bud. 21st century. Look at it and type.”

Ron still is frustrated by his difficulties. He still procrastinates. He’s still disorganized, although not overwhelmingly so. Ron still won’t do things that really would help – like speak his thoughts into a recorder, then transcribe them. Ron still works best in short spurts. He’d set a goal, work madly until he met it, then stop and play a video game or get something to eat. Ron is learning, and enjoying the learning, but not the studying. But at the end of the day, Ron is succeeding!

During one of the his breaks, I read him the story I’d written about one nightmare of a weekend when he left one of his assignments in his jeans pocket – and I washed it. It’s an hysterical story, one that will sound way familiar to you. Read it on the blog at http://www.adhd-inattentive.com/114, and you’ll understand I can write things like Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare.

Anyhow, while I was reading I left out his name, and when I finished, Ron said, “Who was that?!”

You’ve come a long way, buddy.

PS If you’ve not read Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare, you really owe it to yourself to grab a copy before your next homework nightmare begins!

Last week in the newsletter, I mentioned that all of our kids had come home for the weekend – Ron with college homework in tow. While he was taking a break, I read him an article I wrote back when he was in the tenth grade. Read, it, multiply it by four, and you’ll understand why I’m able to write stuff like Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare and Focus Pocus!

“Did you wash jeans? My Algebra assignments were in my pocket.”

Sure enough, crumpled up in the trash was a freshly laundered yellow sticky note, with penciled assignments too faded to read. So he pored through the Algebra II text, hoping for clues. No luck. My suggestions to call a friend were rebuffed, but finally, he gave in.

He asked if I had Ryan’s number, then went leafing through the phonebook to find the number. He needed her dad’s name, which I supplied, but she wasn’t home. So he went through three more absentee friends. He even called his youth pastor for another friend’s number. Nothing. An hour had passed in vain.”Change subjects. Do something else.” His Physical Science assignment was on a piece of paper in his Geometry book, which he couldn’t find. I had seen it in the car, and sure enough, it was there, soaked through, lying in a puddle of water that had leaked from another brother’s water bottle. The assignment still wasn’t to be found.

An hour and a half are now lost.”Go clean your room. You can call your friends later tonight.” So he goes upstairs, only to be distracted by an errant yellow jacket. He comes back down, insisting he shouldn’t be upstairs cleaning. After I warn him that my sting is more lethal than that of any bee, he comes back to get a flyswatter, but wastes more minutes describing the insect to me.

After much banging about, the insect is dead. It’s not a yellow jacket, but a large hornet. He proudly shows the creature to me, then threatens his brothers with it. After talking to the bird (the one who can burp), he heads back upstairs to work. His room, to his credit, gets done.

He also doesn’t mention he has any homework besides the mystery assignments. Since I don’t know he has more to do, he somehow figures he doesn’t have to complete it until Sunday.

So, Sunday afternoon rolls around. I have a meeting at 2:30, so after church we go out to eat, then the rest of the family waits for me. Of course, the homework is left at home. After I remind him, and then insist, he calls his friends to get his assignments. His friends are still gone, but I’ll bet their homework was finished.

At home, he finally makes contact with one friend, who gives him the Algebra homework. He also discovers that at some point he has lost his Geometry sheet, which is makeup for work he should have completed last week, and work he could have done on Saturday.

So I pore through his bookbag, and discover Latin papers wadded up in the History notebook, which is also full of Geometry notes. I’m overwhelmed by the disorganization. I discover a sheet that lists Tuesday as the due date for his Geometry notebook check, although he insists his teacher says it is due Thursday. I also go through all the drawers in his room. While he finishes his Algebra, I sort all his papers into subjects. I haven’t helped him all year, so I feel like I can help him in this without being an enabler.

It is now 11:30 pm on Sunday night. His Algebra is finished, almost. He has lost …..Oh, my gosh. I couldn’t have timed this better. As I am typing the above paragraph, he walks in. “Hey mom, you know that Geometry worksheet?” He doesn’t mention that it’s the one I just spent two hours looking for. “The reason I couldn’t find it was that it wasn’t a worksheet. It was a problem in the book. Can you come help me with it?”

So what do you think? Should I boil him in oil or feed him to the sharks?

PS If this story sounds WAY too familiar – sort of like a nightmare – then you need to read Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare. It’s our story of how the madness ended – and we woke up!

Don’t let the headline get to you. For some kids, math comes easy to them. Then there are the rest of us. Not to be stereotypical, but math can pose some special difficulties for our ADHD kids.

ADHD kids have a tendency to have difficulties with math facts, processing word problems and even following the order of operations. Special skills can help ease these troubles.

Here are three tips to help your kids survive and thrive math this year.

1. Make it fun. I know I keep saying this, but make the math fun. Despite common belief, you can make it fun. Let them do math facts online. Download a math game. In fact, you can even buy a math game for the Nintendo DS called Math Play. Several websites that may help are www.aplusmath.com, www.funbrain.com, and www.bigbrainz.com (which has a GREAT multiplication game that is free and downloadable).

2.Do what works. Math can be troubling because you have to keep track of all those darn numbers. Here’s two ways to keep them in check. One unorthodox method is to take the notebook paper and turn it sideways. Then, when your student writes their numbers, they can keep them all in a row.
If you need a stronger way to keep track of the problems, have your student do their math homework on graph paper. If there isn’t enough room, let them write in two boxes per number. Since going to this method, I can actually read my son’s homework!

Another tip is to highlight the different operations in different colors. You could make addition green, subtraction yellow, multiplication blue and division pink. This will help remind our kiddos what operation they should be doing.

3. Practice, practice, practice. Unfortunately, the school day just keeps getting more and more busy. This means that there is less and less time for practicing basic math skills. Try to practice math facts 5 minutes a day or 10 minutes every other day. To make it easier, make a game of it. You can play bingo, have a scavenger hunt, play on the computer – whatever it takes.

Make sure they have samples of the exact type of problem they are working on. Modeling is very important with ADHD kids, especially since so many are visual learners.

Math can be fun…or at the worst, much less painful. Math is a necessary skill and all kids need to learn how to work problems effectively. Help take some of the stress out of math homework and become the math hero of your house today!

Do you have an ADHD/ADD educational issue you would like to see addressed? If so, contact Alana Morales on her blog at www.MommyADD.com.