School and ADHD-Inattentive

How to Learn Math

$how to learn math$ The most important concept my boys learned about math was the fact families. Go here to get a template for making fact family cards – with lots of activity ideas. At some point, our kids have to graduate from the rote memorization of math facts to understanding what the numbers and facts represent. A cool book to foster this understanding is The Grapes of Math. (I love the title!) In it, the author asks riddles that make kids use what they know in new ways.

Pictures – My mom taught third grade for years, and always used a book called “Grandma’s Math” to help her visual learners who were having trouble memorizing facts. I searched in vain for the book she used, but found another, Memorize in Minutes, that used the same principle: kids memorize a picture that has a story and rhyme to help with fact recall. You can also get your child to help you come up stories and pictures, which may prove be the extra boost your child needs. NOTE! A reader sent in the link to Grandma’s Magical Math! It’s really old and really dated, but it’s highly recommended!

Math Games and Apps Most kid will do anything that is a video game or apps. There are lots of free apps, too!

Practice – However your child learns, practice makes perfect. Create your own practice worksheets here. You can choose what kind of problems and how difficult they are. This is a wonderful resource that you can use over and over again.

Slogging through Homework

homework incentive — After each subject, add an extra topping to the pizza.

You eat an elephant a bite at a time. A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. These proverbs make big jobs sound easier, but in reality, they don’t make much difference to our kids who are slogging through a night of math and science and social studies and that stupid book called Charlotte’s Web that the teacher made them read. It’s just overwhelming for our kids, truly.

But what if you gave an incentive for each bite of the elephant – a small ‘something to look forward to’ for each milestone? What about these…

1. After every five math problems, give a sticker.
2. After each paragraph written, allow a ten minute exercise session.
3. When each subject is completed, a different ingredient is put on the pizza.

For most of our kids, you’ll need to change this up often.

What are good milestones for your child? What incentives have worked for you?

Get practical steps on making it through a night of homework in our book, “Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare“. Read more about it, here!

Be SuperParent for Your Child’s School

Sometimes parents can champion a cause that helps the school and earns them superhero status. ..using parental muscle. Step into the phone booth, and I’ll tell you the story.

At the beginning of the school year, one of our readers was concerned that the school wasn’t providing Occupational Therapy for her daughter as was written into her IEP. They asked the teacher about it, and discovered the problem – the district hadn’t hired a OT for the school. The school was every bit as concerned about it as the parents.

Tugging on Superman’s Cape. So at the fall IEP meeting, the parents used their legal leverage as parents to bring pressure onto the representatives from the central office to make the hire. “You do realize that this is in the IEP. It is legally mandated that Sally have this therapy. It’s not an option.”

Up, Up, and Away! Although no threat was made, the phrase ‘legally mandated’ meant that the battle was already won. The school district knew that it truly had no choice but to provide the OT that was needed. And…the Occupational Therapist was indeed hired – a huge win for all the children involved as well as the school.

My Hero. An additional win was that the parent/school alliance was strengthened. The parents did the nagging; they were the bad guy. This was one less thing that the school had to fight central office for. They were grateful that someone else fought this battle for them.

As the parents and the school worked as a team – as allies – to get what was needed for the child, it set the stage for better in-school teamwork later on.

Makes for a good movie plot, too – don’t you think?

What To Do About Too Much Homework

I don’t have to tell you that your kids have too much homework. It’s a rare parent that thinks that the nightly chore of reviewing and previewing and rehashing the day’s work is as necessary as the government seems to think it is. Throw a dose of ADHD into homework time, and…well, it can be a nightmare.

My kids and I both loved school. We generally had great teachers, good instruction, and lots of fun. But I still dreaded the start of the year because of the homework. (Okay, and because we couldn’t sleep late, but don’t tell.)

There is supposed to be a homework standard. Children should only take 10 minutes of homework per night per grade level. Honestly, that seems reasonable. But we all know that for an ADHD child, that 10 minutes is often tripled.

And a recent study by The American Journal of Family Therapy found that on average, grade school children have more homework than is recommended by the NEA. A lot of the homework load seems to be in preparation for the constant barrage of testing.

So what’s a parent to do? Well my gut is to say that we will all rise up together and refuse to stress our families out for something of dubious efficacy. But I never was willing to change the world at the expense of my child.

There are a few steps that you can take, however.

1. Communicate. I know that goes without saying, but if homework is overwhelming, let the teacher know where the problems lie.

2. Reduce. Ask for a accommodations and modifications in your next 504 or IEP meeting. This could be as simple as saying that your child only has to work for a certain amount of time. It could mean that your child only has to do every other math problem, or that they could dictate their spelling sentences to you and let you write them.

3. Equip. Make sure that you have everything you need for homework. There is nothing so frustrating as getting all settled in to do science homework, and discovering that you don’t have the required ruler, or finding out that the math book is at school. Make a list now of all the school supplies you think you might need, and gather them while they are on sale! (Order from Amazon.com, and we get a small commission from your purchase.)

4. Connect. If your school communicates homework electronically, then log on! Ask if your child can take a picture of the homework board. If your child loses their homework, see if the teacher will allow you to email a scan of the night’s work. Just get really familiar with the ways that the internet and other electronic means can help you. If you use a paper calendar, take a look at our PAC-kit, that has helped so many children get organized.

5. Relax. I know. Homework doesn’t lend itself to relaxation. But remember your Lamaze breathing and breathe through the stress. Make a resolution now to make this a better year in those all important hours that children are at home with you.

In fact – that’s your homework assignment.

PS If you’ve not read our Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare…now’s a great time. AND you’ll get extra credit on your assignment.

*See Homework and Family Stress: With Consideration of Parents’ Self Confidence, Educational Level, and Cultural Background by Pressman, Sugarman, Neman, Desjarlais, Owens, and Schettini-Evans.

Spelling Success for Back to School

Back to school. Whether you approach this time of year with anticipation or dread, it’s about to happen. New teachers and classes, different rules and expectations, leave children and parents overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety. Below are six ways to send your child back to school with success.

Supplies – Most schools provide a list of essentials for each child to bring on the first day of class. Make sure your child has exactly what is requested, and save enough cash for those supply needs that crop up the first week of class. Stock up on all types of paper, writing utensils, art supplies, notebooks and folders during the back to school sales. Gather an assortment of calculators and reference books. There is nothing that gives confidence like the satisfaction of having just the right tool for the job.

Communication – While summer is still in session, visit the school and meet the secretary and principal. Limit yourself to brief introductions, but offer your support to help make a great school year. Leave your name, telephone and email so the school can contact you if they need help. The first week of school, write the teacher a letter introducing your child, and briefly listing strengths and weaknesses. Share important information such as family situation and medical needs. Finally, tell the teacher you would like to meet during the second month of school to strategize ways to work together for your child’s education.

Habits – Children usually crave routine. A couple of weeks before school, transition children to the schedule they will follow once the year begins. Send them to bed and have them get up earlier. Adjust mealtimes. Once school is in session, quickly establish routines for homework and chore. Make it a habit to prepare the next day’s clothes, lunches, and school gear each evening.

Orientation – Familiarize your child with the all the places she will be during the school day. Follow the bus or car pool route. Arrange a visit to the school before it begins. Practice the route into the building. Find the bathrooms, the library, and the lunchroom. If your child is in middle or high school, let them walk their schedule until they feel comfortable. See if there are volunteer opportunities that will help your teen to feel more at home in the maze of corridors that line most campuses.

Organization – Buy into the adage “a place for everything, and everything in its place”. A two drawer file cabinet works well as a center to organize a child’s school/home communication, backpacks, shoes, and homework. Each afternoon, school gear and shoes go in. Before bed, add clothes, bookbag, notes and homework for the next day. In the morning, everything is in one spot, and makes it easier for the child to get dressed and ready. (Our favorite way to organize is our own “PAC-kit” student planner!)

Love – Insensitive classmates, missed buses, forgotten homework and misunderstood math can make school a traumatic place. Shield your child by expressing your love over and over again. Tell her you love her. Give him a hug. Hide a love note or symbol in an Algebra book. Offer your time, your understanding, and your prayers. With the teacher as your partner, wrapping your children in love is the best way to spell a successful beginning to the school year.

Be Organized from Day One of School with the PAC-kit Planner!

Jingle Bells, Homework Tales and Projects All the Way

I love this time of year. The blinking lights on the front walk, the aroma of freshly baked cookies and spiced cider from the kitchen, and the sounds of our favorite Christmas music playing in the background create an exciting environment. As wonderful as they are, the holidays usher in huge distractions for children. She’s trying to muddle through geometry homework while deciding what to wear as a “helping elf” for the special Christmas photos in the community. Or perhaps he’s perfecting his Christmas list when you thought he was working on vocabulary words. And both your kids are trying to study for vocab tests while wondering what their Chanukkah gift will be tonight. What’s a supportive parent to do?

Although you may just want to postpone the whole holiday until school’s out for the break, that’s not really practical. Try to stick to a routine as much as possible. Parties, shopping, school/worship events, and “special holiday presentations” on television can distract your kids more than ever. There’s not an easy way to combat it, other than purposing to maintain some sense of normalcy during the last weeks before the New Year.

December is probably the most overwhelming time of year for all of us, and it can be especially overwhelming for our ADHD kids. Here are a few tips to help you keep your kids on track, and help make this Season truly a wonderful time for you and your family:

Share the Love . I know it should go without saying, but during this blessed Season of the year, make sure your children take time to give to others. Each year, our family chooses someone outside our family to bless over the holidays. We’ve not always had money to buy gifts, so we sometimes gave the gift of our time or our prayers. At our house, it helps to breathe deeply and remember that our problems are small compared to many others in the world. That’s why we take time to talk to our children and ask them to decide how our family will share this Christmas.

Reviewing Reviews . If your child faces tests or exams at the end of the grading period, start NOW to review material. You don’t have to wait until the exam is announced, thanks to a little section in almost every textbook called the chapter review. These only take a few minutes to read out loud to your child, and will begin to wake up the memory of the material they have already covered. Getting the calendar out and assigning chapters to specific days is a great first step. Reviewing classroom notes is the second step. Don’t spend an inordinate amount of time. Set a timer, and place a limit – 10 minutes, 20 minutes -you know the increment of time that works best for your child. Later on at exam time, you’ll be glad you did – and so will your child.

Keep it Simple . Holidays don’t have to be such elaborate affairs! Chanukkah and Christmas are about giving and family, and those should be the focus. Give your kids a gift budget; tell them you’ll only spend X amount on their gifts this year. Give them a list and have them buy gifts for those on it. Instead of having a huge Christmas party, have a pot luck dinner, or a cookie and sandwich swap. One Saturday a few years ago, we decided to have a group of friends over that night, and I served four pots of soup and had the guests bring bread and desserts. Easy, fast, and fun. Go easy on the decorating. Use gift bags for presents – to cut down on cost we’ve even used white sandwich bags with a Christmas stamp on the front. Last year a friend used cloth shopping bags for all her gifts.

If some events require lots of preparation (dressing for the Nutcracker), travel (visits to distant cousins), or waiting in long lines (seeing elaborate light shows), consider trading them in for a simpler version. You can watch the Nutcracker on television, call the cousins, or ride around town looking at lights.

Keep it Scheduled . Don’t pack your schedule! Don’t go to every event. Don’t make your children sing in the choir if they hate it. If you don’t really like the office Christmas party, or if you’re secretly bored with the Christmas cantata, then stay home! Pick the things most important to your family. Ask your kids and find out what traditions mean the most to them. Kayla’s boys look forward to bargaining for the Christmas tree with her husband (their record is a $5 tree!), and then to hot soup and cider afterwards. We like making special ornaments for our tree. These little traditions are what make the holidays special.

ADHD kids like to have the comfort of a routine, so try to make your life as normal as possible this month. In addition, for all the ‘abnormal’ days, make a calendar, and share it with your kids, so they’ll know what to expect when. Don’t forget school and homework. Spelling isn’t very exciting, but it is part of the routine, and you certainly don’t want your child to get behind.

Keep It Real. It’s a never ending struggle, but remember to keep the real meaning of the Season in the forefront of your celebrations. Whether you observe Christmas or Chanukkah or another holiday, make sure your family focuses on love and giving.

PS Kayla: My favorite tradition is to find someone that will listen to me read the book Papa Panov’s Special Day. It’s my very favorite Christmas story.

So…who wants to volunteer this year? 🙂

School and ADHD-Inattentive

Be Organized from Day One of School with the PAC-kit Planner!

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