Lower Your Expectations

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Don't fold wash cloths. If the kids lose their pencil, give another from the endless supply you keep on hand. Don't put top sheets on beds. So what if report cards have C's. Paint all your walls the same semi gloss color. Only buy one color/brand of socks. These are things that would have been unacceptable to me in the past, but my focus has changed. These things aren't really that important to me, and to keep sanity, I opted for the easy way out. I lowered my expectations. To help sort out which standards were too high, I asked myself one question over and over: "What's more important?" To … [Read more...]

Teaching a Child to Ask for Forgiveness

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One of the hardest things for any of us to do is to say, "I'm sorry." It is interesting to me that dogs can convey remorse without words, but humans often can't find the words to smooth over a problem that they created. Kids have a terrible time admitting they did wrong; for most adults, it's even harder. One skill that we need to teach our children is how to ask for forgiveness. Here's my formula: Admit wrongdoing. Don't make a child say "I'm sorry." If she's not sorry, you're compounding her transgression by making her lie. An insincere, 'Sorry', doesn't make anyone feel better, … [Read more...]

Three Tips For Managing Homework Headaches

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After the post about Ron and his college homework, you're probably ready for some positive hints on homework...and thanks to Alana Morales - here they are: Three Tips For Managing Homework Headaches! In my neck of the woods (or desert, as it is), we are gearing up for the second quarter of school. This semester, I have experienced teacher battles, homework nightmares and medication debacles. All in all, a pretty normal school year for an ADHD family, wouldn't you say? One of the things that I have found myself doing is reevaluating my homework processes and making changes based on the … [Read more...]

Another Chore Hint – Laminate!

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We have another great hint on getting kids to do chores from Molly Donnelly, who graciously gave me permission to include her name and her method! For my kids I have printed out and laminated cleaning cards for each chore. If they have to do the bathroom, they take the card and it lists for them step-by-step instructions so nothing gets forgotten-spray the sinks, toilet and shower with cleaner, wipe down shower and rinse, clean the inside of the bowl and wipe down the outside and floor around it, wipe down the sink and counter, use a clean cloth to dry the sink and counter, wipe down the … [Read more...]

Reader Hint – Getting Kids to Do Chores

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A reader sent this in last newsletter. It makes me want to go do chores with her! I wanted to throw something out there for working moms who feel like they're always picking up "everyday clutter" constantly, and have a hard time staying organized and caught up. I have two children, ages 8 and 14, with ADD (one inattentive, one hyperactive). I have found that when I say, "clean your room, and help pick up the house", I don't always get a good response, at least not to my satisfaction. Being a working mom, I have had to let go of having the show-room look, but I do like to keep things … [Read more...]

Getting Kids to Do Chores

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I've made two blog posts about chores, recently: The Chore of Chores discusses the importance of getting our kids to do chores. Chore List lists guidelines for deciding which chore a child can do. The fact remains, however, that kids don't like to do chores. So how do you get them to cooperate? Do chores together. Everything is more fun with a partner. Work side by side with your child. Have your child clear the table while you wash the dishes. One of you vacuum while the other folds laundry. (Pick up those feet!) One take things off the shelves while the other dusts and wipes down … [Read more...]

Chore List – Guidelines for Assigning Chores to Kids

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In a recent post, I listed five reasons that is important for us to make sure our kids do chores. You can read the list on the ADHD-Inattentive blog. But just how do we assign chores that our kids can - and will - do? Here's your chore list: It's important to match the chore to the child. When you assign chores, take your child’s age, ability and personality into account. From the moment they are out of the high chair, a child can ‘dump their plate’ and put it in the sink. I have sweet memories of our little ones reaching over their heads to lob their dishes (plastic, of course) into the … [Read more...]

Sometimes It’s Not My Problem

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Yesterday, one of our sons was late to work. He neglected to follow the advice - no, the law - I have given him and his brothers from the time they were in Kindergarten. "Get your stuff out the night before." My son waited until one hour before he was supposed to start waiting tables to look for his work shirt. When he found it, it was in the bottom of the laundry with ink stains, and had to be washed, dried and ironed. He was highly frustrated, but had the grace to tell me, "It's not your problem." He's darn tootin' it wasn't my problem. I have told them until I'm blue in the face. Get out … [Read more...]